Missing my boy

Mom said something to me last night. She said that the love that Nokie has in his soul is overwhelming. And it's true. He's just got so much love to give that when you get it, it's like a chemical reaction. I found a quote that I liked, I thought it fitting.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

~Carl Jung
That that's why it's so hard for me to let him go even when I know it's for his betterment. I know he's not being loved any less than he was here. I know he's going to be fine and that I'll see him again. But still...

It's what fools do

What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much to long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down.

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.

~Eric Clapton (verses of Layla)

Nokie's Traits

Things Nokie likes:

• having his belly rubbed
• eating
• sleeping
• running in an open field, at TOP speed!
• playing with other dogs who are just as fast as him
• cuddling
• laying across your lap

Nokie's favorite thing.... having his ears rubbed. He'll fall asleep almost instantly. His eyes roll up in his head and he grumbles under his breath. It's by far his favorite thing. Along with having his ears rubbed he likes you to rub the top of his head and between his eyes as he's falling asleep.

When Nok is ready for bed he lays next to/on top of you and grumbles. He waits for you to touch him and will usually direct your hand to where he wants it to be (most of the time, it's the top of his head). Every now and then you're going to have to rub his belly for a bit until he's really relaxed, then he'll roll over and want you to rub his head. You should get comfortable at this point because once he falls asleep, he doesn't move.

I have woken up in the oddest positions while sleeping with Nokie. Once I was laying across the top of my bed on the pillows while he was spread out on the rest. I've tried countless different ways to get him to share. I make him wait until I'm comfy then ask him to come up. He just nestles in and inevitably moves you over. I've tried getting up in the middle of the night and psychically pushing him over, he just readjusts and you realize that you've lost more ground than you gained.

Things Nokie doesn't like:

• loud noises, not so much that they scare him, he just doesn't like them
• to be touched when he's really tired or just woke up, especially if the one touching him is Hawk and Hawk is the reason he's tired or just woke up :)
• people he can't get to. By this I mean, if he's on a leash and can't get to my neighbor who's walking up the stairs he barks and growls and sounds 4 times bigger than he is. However, if they just come up to him or he gets to them he all wagging tail and attention seeking.
• being left alone/behind. Nokie gets his feelings hurt very easily. He thinks that being left behind is a punishment of sorts and gets very depressed. It was only last weekend that he didn't follow me to the door when I left for work. Since October he's always followed me and I've had to reassure him that he can't come and that I'll be back later. Last weekend he was taking a nap in bed. I got told him I was going to work, he looked at my clothes (I wear all black to work), gave me a kiss and went back to sleep.

Nokie is such a peculiar character at times. He's very loving and wants nothing more than to please. His every emotion is played out in his beautiful eyes and are very easy to read. I was at the kennel puppy hugging and he had been left behind when the other dogs went out in public. It was easy to see how lonely and upset he was. I went to him first, as I always tired to do, and said hi. He wagged a little and I told him I was going to go walk the puppies but I would see him before I left and say goodbye. He wagged a little more and gave me a kiss.

Kisses are another thing that is something of a gift when they come from Nokie. He can be very stingy with his love. He must really be feeling it and in the mood to give kisses. My mom has tried countless time to get him to kiss her and it only happens occasionally. Nokie kisses are truly wonderful and unique because of how rare they are. I know I have cherished everyone I've ever received and look forward to getting as many as I can in our last two weekends together.

Alarm clock training

I was asked by Kara, Nokie's trainer, to start working with him and the alarm clock. He was to wake me by touch and show me that the alarm was going off. She went over everything with me and we were on our way. We had a good night, I went to work, he slept on the couch until I got back. (At least I think that's what he does. Whenever I come home he's always asleep on the couch.) We went to bed somewhat late, I think we watched a movie before turning in. I set the alarm to go off at 0645. Nokie is usually up around then wanting to go out to potty. Well, Murphy's Law states that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. He woke up early, 6ish, and went potty then. We came back in and went back to bed. I had prepared some jerky and treats the night before. They were under my pillows with m clicker. When the alarm went off I listened to see if Nokie did anything. Nothing happened except that the alarm got louder. I have one of those alarms that, when set to buzz, starts off soft then gradually gets louder to the point of being obnoxious. After something like a full mintue I tried to coax him to see if he would react. I called his name and got nothing. He was drapped across my legs, eyes closed, breathing deep. I moved my legs. He grumbled and got comfortable again. By now the alarm was ridiculous and I could not believe that he was actually still asleep! I tried calling him again, told him to touch. I got nothing. The boy would NOT wake up! Finally I moved my legs out from under his head completely and sat up, telling him to touch and tapping my leg. He opened his eyes for the first time and, I swear, he rolled one eye at me then buried his head under my legs and went back to sleep! I got up and shut off the alarm, thinking we'd have better with the next one. The clock I have can be set for two different times, I hade set it for 0645 and 0750. This was with the impression that I would beat him to waking up by about 10 minutes. Apparently those 10 minutes are very important to him.

At 0750 the alarm went off again and this time, instead of trying to ignore it and me, when I told him to touch he just got out of bed and went to the couch!! Needless to say, I think he won rounds one and two...

The next morning we tried things a little different. He woke up before the alarm and we went out. I kept him awake and pratcied touch with him in all different positions. Standing, sitting, sitting on the bed, laying on the bed, laying under the covers, we tried it all. When the alarm went off I told him touch and he bounced up to me and touched me with his paw on my chest. I treated him and asked him to show me. This was where things went downhill in round three. When asked "Show me" Nokie ran from the bed and into my office to stare at my computer. Baffled, I said "show me" again, this time he ran into the living room and kitchen and searched for the noise. It had reached it's obnoxious point by now again and Nokie was still searching the kitchen. I yelled to him and he came back, I looked at the clock and said "show me" one more time. He leaped, and I do mean leaped, over the bed and wagged his tail at the alarm clock. I promptly shut it off and treated him. Better late then never I suppose...

Tropical Storm Nokie and Hurricane Hawk

Why he didn't figure it out the first weekend I don't know, but he got it down solid this past weekend. Nokie has realized with perfect clarity that Hawk can't get to him on the bed. Hawk has gotten tall enough to, not get on the couch, but get up close enough to annoy Nokie. So Nokie has taken to stealing whatever Hawk is playing with and jumping up on the bed. He then dangles it off the edge, letting Hawk jump and scramble trying to get it back. Sunday was a nightmare in skidding dogs and things being knocked off the coffee table. I think Hawk wrote about it in his blog. The two of them were acting like lunatics. Nice for me, because afterward they both slept for almost three hours and I could get some homework finished.

I've been thinking of some of my other Nokie stories and I'm going to post the one about our first weekend working on him touching me when the alarm clock goes off. I'll get back and post sometime today or tomorrow. Right now, I have to finish cleaning up after Hawk's bad day.