How it all started....

Susquehanna Service Dogs is an organization that breeds, raises and trains service dogs. These dogs are loved and nurtured to their fullest potential. I first learned of SSD when my mother gave me an article that she had cut out of the newspaper. I've always had dogs growing up and now that I had been living on my own for a while, the itch to get one was becoming unbearable. After discussing it with my mom we both came to the conclusion that there was just no way that I could afford to have a dog. At least, that is, I couldn't afford to have both a dog and myself. The article stated that SSD was looking for people and families interested in being puppy raisers. SSD would pay for everything the dog needed with the only expense to you, the raiser, being food, time and love. I couldn't believe it! It was exactly the perfect answer to my problem. However once the initial elation settled I had to come to terms with, well, the terms. The dog would not REALLY be my dog. I would have to give the dog back after 16 to 18 months of having it. Could I do that?

I began to worry, wonder if I was capable of something like this. Of giving my heart to someone who I knew in advance was going to take it, care for it, then leave with it. Could I handle that kind of a heart break? It wouldn't be the same as my divorce, or anything else that I had experienced up until that point in my life. This would be different, this would be the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. As the months passed I began to think less and less about it. I hadn't heard anything back from SSD other than they had gotten my application and would contact me soon. After waiting, I think, 2 months Linzey e-mailed me and told me that I would have an in home interview as soon as she could arrange it.

I panicked. It was like DCFS was coming to investigate. I cleaned almost everyday. Rearranged my furniture to make the place look bigger, make it look like I had plenty of room for a dog. Started talking to friends (ok just one friend, Ari) and asking if they could come over when I was at work. All this and I wasn't even sure if I'd get an interview, much less a dog yet! I know I can be a bit of an obsessive....

When it looked like I may never get that interview I asked Linzey if I could come to an Orientation. She was somewhat hesitant. She said they liked to have people have their interview first but because it was taking so long for her to find someone to come out that I was welcome to attend the Orientation.

It was one hell of a drive up there. Let me just get that out of the way. Nancy's house and kennel (where the Orientation was) redefines middle of no where. I was nervous. What if they thought I was some stupid punk who thought that just because they had dogs growing up they knew it all? What if they didn't like that I lived alone and the dog would be alone when I was at work? I was late leaving my house and late arriving for the Orientation. Strike one against me, as far as I'm concerned. There weren't that many people there. Five of us not including Linzey and her mother. We were in what I now know is the training room of the kennel. I could hear the dogs barking and it took all I had not to go and see them. To wait to be invited.

The Orientation was a blast. I learned so much!! I couldn't believe how easily the dogs picked things up! We worked with Gideon, a demo dog who lives with Nancy and is used to show what the SSD's can do. I learned the basics of clicker training and received a puppy raising manual. Afterward I stuck around and spoke to Linzey. I tried, and I think failed, to contain my enthusiasm for getting a dog from them. Linzey was wonderful! Never once getting impatient with my seemingly endless questions and just as eager as me to see me get started. I told her about my current dogs. Buddy Lee and Bella. My little brother and sister who live with my mom. We shared stories and came to how Bella was a bit of a foster child. Bounced to 4 different homes in 2 years she had serious issues when we finally got her, mainly trust issues. Linzey was interested in this and asked how we dealt with it. I told her that Bella received constant and unconditional attention and her needed space so that she could adjust to life with us (aka: the good life). Linzey then told me about Roanoke.

SSD Roanoke was having some behavior issues. He wasn't listening and had his transfer date pushed back, his training was suffering. There was no one who could get him on a regular enough basis for him to regain the trust in humans that he needed to succeed. The dogs at the kennel who are in advanced training all get to go home on the weekends with a sitter. This gives them a break from each other and a break from constant schooling. They have time to relax and enjoy being a dog. Sleeping in beds instead of a kennel and watching TV instead of listening to a radio and other barking dogs, the weekend babysitters were a reprieve. Nokie, as he's called, had had quite a few different sitters. All telling of different behavior issues that he displayed. Not responding when being told to come. Biting his leash. Removing toilet paper from every bathroom in the house. He had quite the rap sheet.

Linzey asked if that, for starters, I would consider being a puppy sitter. If I would be able to give Nokie a constant home on the weekends and help to give him some stability. I was ecstatic! Are you kidding me? Not only do I get a dog, but right away and one that really needs my help! I couldn't wait. She said she would make the arrangements and that I could take him the following weekend. She asked her mom to get him from the kennel and bring him out.

All I saw was a few blurs of yellow. Someone else had escaped when he was let out and they all came running in and tearing through the training room like tornadoes! It was too funny! She tried to tell me which one was Nokie, but I stepped on her words by asking what was wrong with one of them, why did he have a dark spot under his leg? She laughed and said that's Nokie and that's his chocolate spot. I said, "That's Nokie?" and no sooner did his name come out of my mouth, he was in my lap. Hugging and kissing like a pro, I was hooked.

Our first weekend was tough on me. I didn't have any idea how it was going to work out and hadn't really thought about how to manage my time with him. I didn't pick him up until after work. I got there about 8 or 9 at night and he was the only one left in the kennel. It broke my heart to see him there alone. He was WAY excited to see me, which kinda threw me off. We had only met once and this was not the dog that had been described to me. He was bad, yes. Jumping up and running around like a nut job. But he was nothing but love. With huge brown eyes that went straight to his soul it was all I could do to restrain myself, but I failed, I was in love.

The weekend was a good one. Nokie got my place to himself Saturday night while I was at work. We spent the day Sunday on the couch watching TV. As Sunday night approached it dawned on me that though our time together had just begun, it was already over. I had to go to school early Monday morning and he had to be back at the kennel that night or by 9am Monday.

We had learned a lot about each other that first weekend. I learned Nokie wasn't as bad as people made him out to be and he learned that I was a very mellow person. I was accustomed to having only one day a week to myself with no work and no school. Sunday's were my days to watch TV, catch up on my shows and just do nothing. Nokie was a little bored at first and then learned to relax with me on the couch. You see, Nokie it's just an easy going dog, he's an extreme cuddler. Once he realized that all that was expected of him was to relax, he did just that. He would get on the couch and lay across me. Always with his head in my lap. And by 11 Sunday night I was at a terrible crossroads. I actually wondered, what would they do to me if I didn't bring him back? Send the police? Silly, I know, but as I sat there petting the silken red head in my lap, I didn't want to take him back.

The whole drive to the kennel was fraught with unanswered questions. What if no one else has brought a dog back and he's got to spend the night alone? Could I do that? Could I leave him there alone? Should I just turn around, take him back home and skip my morning class to bring him in the morning. At least that way I was sure he wouldn't be alone. As usual, I had more questions than time and before I knew it I was pulling into Nancy's driveway. When I closed my car door, the noise set off a chorus of barking. Smiling because I knew that at least he wouldn't be alone I got him out of the car. It comforted me a lot to see how excited he was to be back at the kennel. It made me feel so much better knowing that he wanted to be there as much as I wanted him to like it there. He was back at school and happy.

The next few weekends flew by. I had my interview and all was well with the world. I worked out my schedule so that I could get Nokie during the afternoon and he wouldn't have to wait alone for me all night. I asked Ari to come over on nights I work and play with him some and let him out. Things have been great.

Now it's January and I've just received my puppy, Hawk. Linzey has told me that February 20th will be my last weekend with Nokie. He will be going to live with another family to finish training and begin his team training with his partner. Luckily, from what I understand, I'll get to meet that partner. I began this as a sort of way to share our short chapter of life that we spent together and to maybe help give his partner an idea of what they're really getting in to.